MARRIAGES STILL ARE INDISSOLUBLE!
While at least some may be bemoaning Pennsylvania's surrender on the civil definition of "marriage," we fail to see how our de facto acceptance of contraception, divorce/remarriage, and cohabitation set the table for such change. To a very large extent, we long ago -
in practice - succumbed to
- separating the unitive and procreative dimensions of the marital act,
- treating marriage as though it were NOT indissoluble, and
- looking the other way from couples living in sin.
Pre Cana and Cohabitation
According to a recent Associated Press piece,
MOST couples presenting themselves for Catholic marriage preparation are already living together (cf,
Terry Mattingly, Courier Times, 7/25/14). As per Archdiocesan Marriage Preparation Policy,
"Couples who are cohabiting should be informed of the
theological and sociological reasons that indicate why cohabitation
prior to marriage can undermine the future success of their marriage.
They are to be strongly encouraged to separate during the remaining
period of their engagement. This may not be possible for various
reasons. They then should be encouraged to abstain from sexual
relations. Regardless, the Catholic parties should be encouraged to
receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation so that they are in the state of
grace to receive and confer the Sacrament of Marriage.... Concurrent with the rise in cohabitation has been the decline in
marriage."
"At the Service of Communion"
The
Catechism of the Catholic Church talks about just two "sacraments at the service of communion," which "are
directed towards the salvation of others....They confer a particular mission in the Church and serve to build up the
People of God" (1534): Holy Orders and Marriage. While preparation for ordination to the diaconate/priesthood/episcopacy is rightly seen as a
multi-year project, preparation for Marriage often seems treated - in practice - like a weekend or five night program could somehow suffice!
In contrast to seeing marriage preparation as a weekend or five night program,
Preparation for the Sacrament of Marriage recognizes that the groundwork begins with "remote preparation" in earliest childhood, followed later by "proximate" and "immediate" stages: "It is in the family, the domestic church,
that Christian parents are the first witnesses and educators of the children
both in the growth of 'faith, hope and charity', and in each
child discovering his or her own vocation." During the "proximate" stage, Preparation for the Sacrament of Marriage speaks of instruction in natural family planning (i.e., fertility awareness):
"Today the scientific basis of the natural methods for the regulation
of fertility are recognized. Knowledge about these methods is useful. When
there is just cause, their use must not only be a mere behavioral technique
but be inserted into the pedagogy and process of the growth of love (cf.
EV 97). Then the virtue of chastity will lead the spouses to practice
periodic continence (cf. Catechism of the Catholic Church, nos.
2366-2371).
"This preparation should also ensure that Christian engaged persons have
correct ideas and a sincere "sentire cum ecclesia" regarding
marriage itself, the mutual roles of a woman and a man in a couple, the
family and society, sexuality and openness towards others."
Many Catholics might be surprised to learn that rudimentary instruction in
natural family planning only became required in Archdiocesan marriage preparation programs within the last year or so! If you are a not-yet-engaged or already married,
Archdiocesan-Sponsored NFP Classes are few and far between.
By the way, aren't Catholic spouses - even with just cause - supposed to obtain the bishop's approval to separate?
While information on marriage preparation and NFP instruction may be hard to come by, information on annulments strikes me as readily available. The tone of that material strikes me as intended to facilitate declarations of nullity. In 2009, Mary's Advocates asked the Pontifical Council for the
Interpretation of Legislative Texts "whether it was correct for
the Church in America to continue ignoring Canons 1151-1155 and 1692
from the Code of Canon Law....Essentially, they say that before a husband
or wife heads to the divorce court, they first need to head to their
bishop. It's then up to the bishop to say whether a legitimate cause for
separation exists" (Should couples get bishop's permission to separate?, Our Sunday Visitor, 5/13/09). While I am unclear as to whether a response was received, it does appear that - in practice - we have the cart before the horse. In the Archdiocese, people are told that
- "Divorce is a reality for all people, even for Roman Catholics. The Catholic
Church respects the validity of all marriages, not just Catholic marriages.
There are divorced persons who seek to remarry in the Catholic Church. In such
cases, the Church will consider the divorced marriage to see if someone entered
the marriage with an understanding, ability or intention contrary to the
Church’s teaching on marriage. This process, called a Declaration of Nullity,
enables people to marry in the Catholic Church and enables Catholics to
participate fully in the sacramental life of the Church.
- "Before anyone can initiate a Process for a Declaration of Nullity, civil
divorce for the marriage in question must be obtained and finalized.
This completed civil document demonstrates for the Church that the
marriage in fact has been definitively broken and is unable to be
reconciled."
"[A]s a priest who has some pastoral experience with spouses in difficult
marriages and some experience working in a marriage Tribunal, I do know
that it is easy for a pastor or Tribunal official to succumb to a
mindset that emphasizes the subjective happiness of the spouse who wants
out of a marriage over and above the objective value of marriage for
society and the Church and forget there is another spouse and in many
cases children whose rights might be violated by resorting to the
divorce-annulment option too quickly....
"My
opinion that the divorce-annulment establishment in the United States is
in need of major reforms is based primarily on the fact that a high
percentage of cases from America are reversed by the Roman Rota, coupled
with the fact that before a person can petition a Tribunal for a
declaration of invalidity, the person must first obtain
a civil divorce. If it is true that American Tribunals are willing to
declare marriages invalid based on facts that, according to divine law,
cannot be declared invalid, then I would argue that American Tribunals
have in fact succumbed to the divorce mentality by requiring persons who
want a declaration of invalidity to first get a civil divorce and then
petition for a declaration of invalidity in Tribunals that are not
strict enough in defining the conditions under which a marriage can
legitimately be declared invalid."
I am NOT a canon lawyer, but I have read each of the addresses to the Roman Rota by Saint Pope John Paul II, Pope Benedict XVI, and Pope Francis, as well as Dignitas Connubii. Especially with the relatively miniscule attention to marriage preparation and NFP instruction, I struggle
to understand how advertising the possibility of
annulments is in any way in keeping with authentic respect for marriage
If it were a good idea to have and to advertise annulment information
sessions, why aren't there similar sessions on laicization and
dispensation from religious vows? Is there a subtle disrespect for the Sacrament of Marriage?
The Vatican's Preparation for the Sacrament of Marriage: presenting Catholic teaching in an unapologetic manner with obvious belief that the Church has Good News for couples!
If priests, deacons, and pastoral workers truly believe this Good News, they will refuse to shy away from presenting any "uncomfortable" truths.
about marriage/family.
-
"The prefect of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith is
reminding the faithful that the indissolubility of marriage is a dogma
of the Church. Cardinal Gerhard Mueller, the prefect, made this
statement and stressed the need to recover the sacramental understanding
of marriage and family in a book-long interview....Titled 'The
Hope of the Family,' this book in which Cardinal Mueller corrects
misunderstandings about the Church's teaching on family will be
published in English by Ignatius Press ....The German Church official has
chosen to give no further interviews for the time being as this book can
be considered the prefect's definitive contribution to preparations for
the next synod of bishops, dedicated to the family, which will take
place in Rome this Oct. 5-19....With regard to the possibility of allowing spouses to
'start life over again' as the love between two persons 'can die,' he
responded, 'these theories are radically mistaken'....A
major pastoral and educational priority, Cardinal Mueller said, is
having a more in-depth education on marriage, calling for 'remote
preparation for marriage,' starting from infancy and adolescence" (Cardinal Mueller Stresses Need to Correct Misunderstanding of Church's Teachings on Marriage, Family, 8/7/14).
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